kamitlan

Right before a phone interview for a new hiree I was underneath the conference table fiddling with some wiring. I was trying to find a phone/internet connection where some other cables were.  My coworkers were chatting amongst themselves and asking what I was doing. I noticed a piece of paperclip near a half plugged in electrical plug.  Pulled out the electrical plug which caused an electric shock.  But I'm ok. I didn't electrocute myself.  Burned that little paperclip. Mission was unsuccessful b/c I didn't find any cables for the phone or internet.

Technically I am officially on vacation until July 14th as of right now. But I am still here at my cubicle, my computer working on some projects. The mailing address changed so I'm having to review all of our web pages and request the necessary changes to our Web people...I have to do the same for our publications.

Vacation time!!! I checked how many hours of vacation I have accrued and it's at 107 hrs!!! Thats like over 13 days!!! But I'm only taking one of week vacation right now.

What to do...what to do? I wish I had money i  just went on some really awesome roadtrip. I feel like I need a roadtrip with a scenic view. To see the countryside with mountains and valleys and plains and just whatever came my way....but gas is expensive and i have no destination.

I have a couple of plans to go to the movies and watch movies Ive been interested in. Sleeping in and going perhaps to the Museum of Fine Arts and just plug into my ipod. Thats always enjoyable.

Hopefully all the time to myself won't get to me.
I emailed my closest friends about how I'm not in the greatest place right now and the fact I feel a bit abandoned, especially with no therapist. I canceled my appointment with the new therapist I saw last week. Her no phone call policy didn't quite fit my needs. I really need that safety net.  Not sure where all of this will take me. I know God is with me, but the knowledge of his existence is rather abstract and not very personal at this time.

So Recap:
Alive after almost electrocuting experience.
Now on Vacation.

Any suggestions on what to do on my vacation?

What do you say on your last session with your therapist? How do you say the goodbyes, when you don't want to. Of course your therapist won't let you off easy and let you try to change the conversation. Of course I had to own up to how I felt.  It's ok to feel sad-that's what she tells me. But I don't want to be sad! my mind screams, yet I mutter slowly. I didn't go through the usual frustration of thinking how its going to be annoying for the first few weeks when I get someone new and I have to retell my whole past and get them up to speed. Once you have done it more than twice it gets easier and saying goodbye gets easier I suppose. I don't know, I may just  be more indifferent to it. I really try not to think about it more than the necessary. I don't attempt to delve deeper in my troublesome waters of emotion.
So, I had my last session with my psychiatrist, yesterday. She was completing her residency, therefore ending my time with her. Now, I'm kind of in therapy limbo. I'm sad that I don't have her anymore and like my last 2 therapists I'll miss her dearly.  I don't like change at all and I hate goodbyes, but I have gotten a bit better to simply just whisk through them. But in the last 2 transitions I had a new doctor to depend on, at this time I don't....i'm in therapy limbo.
I had made an appt with a new therapist this week, but after meeting with her i came to the conclusion it was not going to work out.
So now I feel a bit abandoned or alone. Hopefully it doesn't spiral into anything worse than just missing a person.

My mom has to go to Mexico tomorrow to help out with taking care of my grandmother. I know that hasn't helped with me feeling secure and happy. But I know she has to go and see her own mother. Things have gotten a bit more difficult with the care of my grandmother.

I've thought about it for a couple of times. I think I want to pick up archery.  Maybe that will be my new hobby.

At least kitty and doggy haven't left.